Let Go.   Is there someone in your life who is not contributing or supporting you moving forward?  I have asked myself this question and had to let go of some of my friends.  It was difficult but in the end, being surrounded with like-minded positive people who support  and love me and share the same positive outlook in life far out way being associated with sad and miserable people who don’t see the good in anything.  I knew that I was sad and miserable in my life and had attracted these negative people who kept me in the “victim” mindset. Randy Gage writes: “You can’t be a victim and move forward in life.”  I let the negative friends go and finally let go of victimhood and moved on. 

Change your environment.   I joined a community of like-minded positive people who enjoy their lives and want better.  We all celebrate triumphs and support each other when there are challenges all in a positive way.  I don’t have to prove my value and I know that I can contribute with love and kindness the way it has been reflected back to me.  Join networking groups such as mastermind, attend conferences or go to meetings to connect with new exciting people.   “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” -Jim Rohn   

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself when you sit back and take a look at the people you have in your life.  How do they add to your life or are they taking away from your life?  We are all here to help each other serve the greater good.  I am now moving forward in my life progressing and shining my light surrounded with loving, kind, positive people doing the same.  Are you ready to make the change and find your sacred circle?

Get clarity.   Finding clarity is the best place to start. I like to meditate with deep breathing exercises.  It keeps me focused in the present moment and then I can start to visualize my dreams.  It also calms the mind and balances the emotions.  Sit straight with your hands on your lap and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing.  Start inhaling slowing and deeply to a count of 4 seconds.  Hold your breath for a count of 7 seconds and then release and exhale slowly for a count of 8 seconds.  Focus on your authenticity, power, dreams and your vision for a fabulous 2012.

Vision board.  Stephen Covey eloquently writes: “Vision is the best manifestation of creative imagination and the primary motivation of human action.   A vision board can best be defined as a powerful visualization tool that activates the universal laws to help manifest your dreams into reality. Top athletes practice visualization techniques in competition.  Your confidence will soar as your dreams become reality.

Believe in yourself.  This is the most important step when you have decided to visualize your dreams. Believe in yourself and your own self-worth.  Love yourself wherever you are at in your life. This shows the universe that you are an abundant person.  It is all intertwined.  In the past, I know this is where I had fallen short.  The buck stops at you and me.  Forgive yourself and free yourself from the binds of self-loathing and it will release you from the mindset of victimhood.

This lesson from Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now, truly resonated with me.  It taught me to learn to surrender to gain clarity to see what needs to be done.  “In the state of surrender, you see very clearly what needs to be done, and you take action, doing one thing at a time and focusing on one thing at a time.  Learn from nature: see how everything gets accomplished and how the miracle of life unfolds without dissatisfaction or unhappiness. That’s why Jesus said: “Look at the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin.””  You alone are responsible for your success. Make the choice and be proactive in your own life.  Believe in yourself, make plans, prepare, dive in and act! You can do anything you set your mind to.   Affirmations can help you through your challenges. From the Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder declare: “I refuse to give up. I shall continue firmly, steadily and insistently until my good appears.”  I have learned how the power of changing my attitude has worked for me.  I have learned not to give up and to work at staying patient. Live your best life and work on being the best version of yourself.  When you know better you do better and while doing so keep faith in yourself and the process.

Let me first define coaching.  There are coaches in professional and amateur sport helping people achieve their athletic prowess in individual and team sports.  I would even elucidate that music and dance teachers are coaches.  A coach is: “the practice of supporting an individual, referred to as a coachee or client, through the process of achieving a specific personal or professional result.” Life coaching has moved from sport and consulting and mentoring in the workplace to main stream society. “Life coaching is a practice that helps people identifies and achieves personal goals. Life coaches help clients set and reach goals using a variety of tools and techniques. Life coaches are neither therapists nor consultants; psychological intervention and business analysis are outside the scope of their work. Life coaching draws inspiration from disciplines including sociology, psychology, positive adult development, career counseling, mentoring and other types of counseling. Contemporary life coaching can be traced to teachings of Benjamin Karter, a college football coach turned motivational speaker of the late 1970s and early 1980s.” 

My role and responsibility is to support and guide you with your personal growth to improve self-awareness, shift mindset to a positive mental attitude, assist you define and develop your strengths, improve prosperity, spiritual development, enhancing quality of life, fulfilling goals and aspirations and defining and implementing personal development plans so that you reach your highest good to serve the world. 

I am a certified Morning Coach Professional Coach.  I have been a member of the MorningCoach.com community for a few years and received my certification with Morning Coach Academy of Coaches. It is a great community of like-minded people and so very proud to be part of this amazing group.  What is MorningCoach.com?  “MorningCoach.com is a positive community of people helping people. Our mission is to change the world one person at a time by helping people reach their potential. We do this by providing the latest content on human performance and potential on a daily basis. MorningCoach.com is a movement, and it’s about results.”   You can enter and join me on the MorningCoach.com website by clicking the Morningcoach.com logo at the bottom right corner of this blog page to check it out.  You will have access to amazing tools and my coaching services on the MorningCoach.com site.  “It is personal evolution – the next iteration of personal development”.  Join me and help change the world.

Vision board.  Stephen Covey eloquently writes: “Vision is the best manifestation of creative imagination and the primary motivation of human action.   A vision board can best be defined as a powerful visualization tool that activates the universal laws to help manifest your dreams into reality. While attending a Coaching Retreat in Las Vegas with my Morning Coach peers, one of my colleagues led a session working on vision boards.  What an amazing experience.  I worked with child-like wonder on my creation.  It is prominently displayed in my office as a daily reminder of my dreams that I am creating.  A note as well, check out the dream board on the MorningCoach.com site, another great tool that I keep up-to-date as my goals change. 

Networking.   Connect and engage with the people in your life and start networking with people online.  Join a mastermind group and use forums.  Sharing ideas and brainstorming with like-minded people will keep you motivated. 

Write your ideas down.  Carry a little notebook and pen with you at all times so that when an idea comes to mind you can write it down where ever you are.  As well, consider keeping a notebook and pen on your night stand.

Read.  Reading is one gift I take great pleasure in.  A good book stirs the imagination and is a wonderful tool to open your mind to new thoughts and ideas.

Music.  Music stirs your emotions whether happy or sad and inspires creativity.  Positive music helps you focus on your thoughts to stay in the present moment. 

Whatever tools and tips you like to use to assist your creation of new, bold and exciting ideas remember there are plenty of opportunities out there.  Focus your attention on the big picture or your vision and dreams of the life you want.   Never stop creating, never stop dreaming; you will be successful!  You have the key to unlock the possibilities in your life.

Staying mindful.  When you stay mindful in the present moment it helps you focus and stop the incessant chatter of Ego in your head.  “Peace is an attribute in you.”  Whenever I need to stay focused and stop the chatter I repeat these affirmations from the A Course of Miracles, “I could see peace instead of this” and   “this is my life and my time is right now “when I catch myself wondering into the past or worrying about the future.

Forgivness.  Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love eloquently teaches forgiveness and summarizes: “Forgiveness is a full time job, and sometimes very difficult. Few of us always succeed; yet making the effort is our most noble calling. It is the world’s only real chance to begin again.  A radical forgiveness is a complete letting go of the past, in any personal relationship, as well as in any collective drama.”  Affirm, “All that has offended me I forgive and I fully and freely release you.”

Gratitude.  I choose meaning, responsibility and contribution going forward and live with profound love and gratitude for what I have in my life.  There is not one thing I would change during my lifetime.  I love the woman I have become and what I am blessed with and enjoy on a daily basis.  The trials and tribulations I have endured have shaped me into a person who can promote good in the world.  Living in gratitude has given me peace of mind.

Change Your Beliefs.  James Allen’s quote: “by changing my beliefs, I change who I am.”  With faith I started once again to believe in myself and had the perseverance to change my beliefs in order to attract the many splendid things and wonderful people that have manifested in my life.  

My own faith has taught me that whatever challenges I face, I pick myself up, dust the hurt off, and try again, trust again, and love again. In the Dalai Lama’s book, The Art of Happiness, compassion is the key to tranquility and peace of mind.  He teaches “that being compassionate is actually in your own best interest. And a symptom of your own peace of mind is that you can share comfort with others around you.”  

How do you build self-confidence?  There are several valuable tools that I have learned and continue to utilize to improve my self-confidence and here are three empowering tools to guide you:

Surround yourself with like-minded people.  Their confidence and positive energy subconsciously will “rub off”.  I have learned to surround myself with amazing people who are high on life, radiating love and positivity in the world.  Get away from those who are angry and weed out those negative nellies in your life and don’t let the negative people in your life define your happiness.

A positive mental attitude will also develop self-confidence.  The days you are feeling pessimistic; smile and dial into your channel of optimism with positive energy. Don’t allow your moods to define you.

Visualization. Believe and visualize your dreams.  Top athletes practise visualization techniques in competition.  Your confidence will soar as your dreams become reality.

Going forward on my path and with my love of sport I found golf to be the new tool to assist me to refine my self-confidence.  How can golf possibly help me it’s simple.  When I’m playing it allows me to stay completely in the moment.  Golf teaches me to be patient and also not to be so darn hard on myself and fight the voice of self-criticism.  I know intuitively that I am adept in my abilities and with courage and confidence eventually success is achieved.  Deepak Chopra eloquently states: “In its soul, golf is away to transcend.  Golf really and truly is about facing the unknown, because when you are forced to take in every particle of who you are, it is more than you can ever know. When you transcend you don’t walk away from the game or float above it.  You merge. You and the game become one.” Whether it is a good or bad, the game is liberating and when I leave the course I radiate confidence and absolute happiness!

The older I get the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball-the further I am rolled, the more I gain. – Susan B. Anthony

To answer that question yes and no.  I have had a tumultuous spring and summer.  Yes, I am working a business that I have dreamed of, however on the personal side, my husband had suffered heart attack in April while playing hockey.  He survived and thankfully he is recovering nicely.  During this period, unconsciously I went into nurturing mode.  While my husband has been home on sick leave I got caught up in his recovering process that I put myself on the back burner.  Of all people, a Personal Development Coach, I should know better.  The number one thing I’ve being writing and “preaching” is to look after yourself first so that you can better look after the needs of others.  It’s time to take charge and put myself back on track; moving forward with loving kindness and to work on my extreme self-care.   

In Cheryl Richardson’s book, The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life, she teaches that “over giving is a sign of deprivation and a need isn’t being met and a void isn’t being filled. It is a legacy that has been passed down by generations of women in my family”.   I learned that no one else tells me to say “yes” it was my choice.  So now I claim back my power and made the decision to change.  Cheryl taught me that self-care is not selfish.  As she clearly points out that I had to stop being the martyr and start focusing on getting my needs met.   

At the top of my list of needs was a vacation.  Thankfully, we had booked our trip in March and the long needed holiday arrived to one of the world’s largest whale estuaries.  The water has always been my source of serenity and connection and represents peace and comfort.  I meditated and gave thanks to the beauty that surrounded me and learned to become more attentive of my needs.  This time away was exactly what I needed and a gift to replenish my spiritual health.

The next need on my list is the need to start taking better care of myself and heal my body.  I am taking this time with the guide from my Doctor of Natural Medicine, starting a 4 week detoxification therapy treatment to rid my body of the physical, chemical, biological and psychological toxins that have built up in my system these past few months.  Physical toxins would include weather, irradiation/light, noise, and electromagnetic fields, chemical: pollution, compounds from our everyday life such as cleaning products, insecticides, biological: bacteria, fungi, viruses, food, allergens and finally psychological: stress overload. 

So this fall will be long leisurely walks with the dog, a few golf games and quiet times of reflection.  It is the perfect time of the year for regeneration of mind, body and spirit.

Autumn to winter, winter to spring,

Spring into summer, summer into fall –

So rolls the changing year, and so we change;

Motion so swift, we know not that we move. – Dinah Mulock Craik

You have the choice to live happy and full of abundance or in complete misery.  Yes, as pure and ordinary as that you choose your fate in life. We are intelligent human beings with the capacity to change our thought processes. The negative choice and energy you put out in the world you attract.  You know those days? You wake up late, then you rush frantically around trying to get yourself ready and then the unthinkable happens; you spill hot coffee on your freshly laundered work clothes. The rest of your day spins unnecessarily out of control.  That negative energy comes back twofold attracting like-minded people and situations.  This negativity can manifest into days, weeks and months when you walk through life unconscious and unaware.   Paradoxically, there are those who choose to wake up relatively calm and happy.  They exude confidence and positivity with a serene presence that vibrates out to the universe attracting a life of harmony, peace and happiness.

Live with Gratitude.  I am so grateful for everything I have in my life.  That became so clear to me this past April when my husband suffered a heart attack while playing hockey.  Thank God, he was revived by a defibrillator and is progressing remarkably well with his recovery.  I’m richly blessed and grateful for this second chance. 

Try something new.  We go throughout our daily lives in a daily routine and staying in our comfort zone.  Shake it up, get out of the norm and try something new.  Learning a new skill or process will add value to your quality of life.

Be Happy.  Choose to be happy and decide this minute.  Don’t compromise your happiness because of other’s lack of insight.  We all deserve to be happy.  Bottom line; don’t settle living in a life of mediocrity.

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist, so beautifully writes, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”  Your life is something that you created for yourself.  Live it large and cultivate those dreams into reality; a quality of life with no regrets.

Stop trying to be perfect.  Let’s face it we are not all perfect.  Enjoy and appreciate all that you have.  Striving for perfection will only lead to worry and fear of failure.  Stop beating yourself up when you don’t make your goals or deadlines.  Accept that you are the loving, beautiful, unique creation of this universe. 

Accept the Unknown.  I most definitely can’t predict the future and chronic worriers can’t tolerate not knowing what’s going to happen.  Live in the moment and enjoy every minute of your life.  You can’t get that back and wasting your energy on the future robs you of your joy and life happening right now.

Create a “worry wart” sheet.  When you find yourself starting to worry, write those thoughts down.  This little technique I picked up from a “How to handle Stress” seminar I attended a few years ago.  Writing down your worries will trick your mind to letting that worry thought go or postponing it.  This keeps you in the present moment.

Keep busy.  Keeping busy throughout your day will keep the worry from creeping into your mind.  Staying active will keep you focused with your attention on the task that at hand.

I still find it challenging at times especially when I’ve left myself vulnerable and tired.  Make sure you get enough rest. Whatever works for you, stay positive and like the saying goes “Don’t worry be happy” is the motto to aspire to.  Trust in yourself, chill out and relax and enjoy the amazing life you have been given.

Believe in yourself.  Get out of lack consciousness and believe in yourself and your own self-worth.  It starts by taking care of ourselves.  Love yourself wherever you are at in your life.  This shows the universe that you are an abundant person.  It is all intertwined.  In the past, I know this is where I had fallen short and at times I still do because I’m looking after everyone else instead of me.  The buck stops at you and me.  The old adage that “hard work pays off” is absolutely true.  You alone are responsible for your success. Make the choice and be proactive in your own life.  You have to believe in yourself, make plans, prepare, dive in and act! 

Preparation and planning.  Once you have the love and acceptance of self, it is now time to put the preparation, plans and work in order.  You are on a mission. Like any good solider going out on a mission you need a mission statement.  It is time to review this again. You must define your values and goals to support this statement.  A personal mission statement has the same principles as a business mission statement; the subtle difference is a personal mission statement is intended to give you clarity to define what is most important in your life.  So I ask you to consider this question: What do you really want in life?  In Stephen Covey’s book First Things First, the author succinctly defines a mission statement to be: “connecting with your own unique purpose and the profound satisfaction that comes from fulfilling it”.   Your personal values are your spirit or core beliefs and these values play a definitive role in your decision making process and in all facets of life.  Examples of values are: love, family, personal growth, integrity, benevolence and creativity.   A goal is a personal plan or strategy that you are aspiring to achieve within a certain timeframe.  Whether you want to lose 10 pounds in the next six months, start a new business or write a book in the next year, make sure that they are attainable and aligned with your values and mission statement.

Now you are prepared with defined values and goals and a mission statement in hand you are ready to take action! The choices and decisions you make every day have a profound effect on your life.  Choose wisely, listen to your intuition and follow your heart and you will be successful.